Sex Dungeon For Sale is now for the illiterate!

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Patrick Wensink – Sex Dungeon For Sale

I have to come right out and say it: I love Patrick Wensink and I love his new book, Sex Dungeon For Sale. It’s like someone put all of my favorite authors into a meat grinder and fashioned this book out of it’s meaty goodness. That’s kinda fucked up, actually…but after reading this book, you’ll understand.

From six year old Frenchmen to Wensink’s own futuristic version of Typhoid Mary, this book is full of laughs and moments of sheer vulgarity, which elicits more laughs. Vulgar in the sense that Fool was vulgar. (Read: In the most enjoyable manner.)

Wensink’s debut of short stories is really one of the best books that I have read in a long time. Especially coming from a new author. It seems like the first book from a new author is either the absolute best, or the absolute worst, but I have a feeling that Wensink’s only going to get better from here. More of a Christopher Moore than a Chuck Palahniuk. (Sorry guys, I love Chuck as much as anyone, but the last few books…well, some things are better left unsaid.)

While reading this book I had the urge to yell, “Oh, the twist!” about 100 times. I did refrain, however…for the most part. “My Son Thinks He’s French” did actually actually evoke a grunt of…I don’t know what it was…a mixture of shock, enjoyment, and disgust? I read it the very first day I got it, made such a noise, and immediately handed it to my husband and told him that he had to read it. It’s like one of those, “This smells terrible, smell it!” moments. It’s fantastically disturbing.

“The Many Lives of James Brown’s Capes” is a silly good time. I have two words for you to sum up this story: Sex. Machine. If I had been drinking something while reading this book, this would have been the one to make liquid come shooting out of my nose. Then there’s “Johnny Appleseed’s Punchateria”. What I would give to have one of these actually exist… god, just read this damn book. Then convince all of your friends to buy it so you can understand how hilariously funny Johnny Appleseed becomes as an inside joke. You’ll see. Also hilarious is “Me and Gerardo, Down By the Schoolyard”. This one can also be summed up in two words: Biz. Markie.

Also, I do have to add this to the list of Favorite Moments of Blogging, and it explains why I love this guy so much…

So I get this book in the mail, rip open the packaging like a rabid badger and there it is in all of it’s shiny glory. Also included in the package was a coloring book and this:

Yes folks, you read that correctly. I AM a Wentastic Club Ranger AND I am very good looking. Take that. This seriously made my day and I have kept it in my wallet ever since.

Seriously you guys, go buy this book. It’s on Amazon right now for less than $10. Support new authors, the fantastic New Bizarro Author Series, and Eraserhead Press.

I addition to his website, you can catch Wensink on Facebook and Twitter. Go check him out! A!

Calling all Christopher Moore fans!

This just in!

A COLORING CONTEST!? Christopher Moore!?

Straight from the author of the newly released Sex Dungeon for Sale!:

Patrick Wensink recently decided there’s only one way to celebrate the release of his book, “Sex Dungeon for Sale!”. And that is by holding a coloring contest.

He had a series of illustrations created based on some of the book’s stories, including a Kindergartener who thinks he’s French, a puddle of ketchup shaped like Elvis and something called, “Chicken Soup for the Kidnapper’s Soul.”

While the coloring contest sounded like fun, Wensink added a little excitement by offering an autographed stack of his favorite books from 2009 to the winner.

Fool– By Christopher Moore

AM/PM – By Amelia Gray

Tales Designed to Thrizzle – by Michael Kupperman

Help! A Bear is Eating Me! – By Mykle Hansen

The contest ends December 14.

For all the details visit www.patrickwensink.com/

For serious! Get the hell on that, people! Christopher Moore, autographed free stuff, coloring, supporting a new writer.

You can get all the fantastic details at his website under the “Randomness” category. Also, check out his new book, available on Amazon now!

In the Tenth House – Laura Dietz

I loved and hated this book 100 times over while reading it.

Set in late 19th century London, Dietz weaves a story in and out of that fine line between spiritualism and medicine in that era. In a world of gutter, penny-cure doctors and half hack mediums, we meet Dr. Ambrose Gennett and Miss Lily Embly in the strangest of situations.

Dr. Gennett, a pioneer of new wave psychology and psychoanalysis, meets Miss Embly briefly during an encounter at a train station, before she abruptly flees. Having a doctor’s mind, Dr. Gennett finds her to be much troubled woman and well, there’s simply something about her. He pretty much stalks her until he find out where she lives. He shows up on her doorstep one evening during working hours to find that she is actually a medium. No proper lady at all. While Gennett is enraged and disappointed in his first impression, Lily sees this as a sign. Well, she is a medium, folks…

Lily works her way into Dr. Gennett’s private matters using her employment as a medium to fascinate the women of Gennett’s  life. Soon enough, she’s holding seances for his mother, sister, and aunt. Then the scandal begins. Seriously. I don’t even know what happens at this point. Everyone’s pointing fingers and placing the blame until it’s all one jumbled mass of lies and miscommunications. It’s a case of mistaken identity I suppose, but in the eye of the beholder. How can you be pissed off at someone for not being what you expected them to be?

The story quickly dives into childish bickering and behind-the-scenes secrets. By the end, you hate these people. They’re simply ridiculous. I have to admit that during these parts, it was pretty…uninteresting. At the point where Deitz should have been bringing everything together and explaining some of this mayhem, it’s just immature spats and no one bothers to actually listen to anything that someone else has to say.You will find no revelations here.

The last two pages make it all worth it though. It leaves with a serious feeling of, “What the fuck? Did that just happen? What the fuck is wrong with these people?”

If you can make it through the last half of the book, you’ll be amazed at the ending. There’s just a lot of drivel to get there. This is her first book though, and for that, I have to say that it’s damn good. I can’t wait to see her hone that skill into something wonderful.

Laura Dietz’s Site

Hyper-Chondriac: One Man’s Quest to Hurry Up and Calm Down – Brian Frazer

How to decscribe Brian Frazer? Brian Frazer is quite frankly a little bit of everything…body builder, standup comedian, author, nutcase, and author somewhere along the lines of David Sedaris and Augusten Burroughs.

In his self-deprecating memoir, Hyper-Chondriac: One Man’s Quest to Hurry Up and Calm Down, Frazer retells his life story filled with neuroses, family, medication, alternative medicine, marriage, anger, violence, tragedy, and comedy.

Chronicling his journey through life thus far, this is the story of Frazer’s quest for inner calm. It begins with an animated account of his dysfunctional childhood. When little kids were playing Little League, Frazer was concocting new diseases and seeing his very first hypnotherapist. Is that a children’s book yet? My Very First Therapist? If not, it should be.

Frazer definitely has some anger-management issues at the beginning. The man will threaten anyone from dog walkers, to neighbors, to fellow drivers. Even himself, from time to time.

Not to spoil anything for you, but a guy actually shits in his driveway. SHITS IN HIS DRIVEWAY. That’s some revenge if I’ve ever heard it.

Frazer delves into a search for the ultimate relaxation. Everything from yoga, Kabbalah, knitting, pharmaceuticals, tai chi, anger management, and even puppies.

If you can’t be saved by puppies, you cannot be saved!!!

This book is absolutely hysterical, especially when you can appreciate neuroses as much a I can. The guy’s a total nutcase, in the best sense of the word. It takes some balls to put all that out there on paper for the whole world to read.

I flew thorough this book. I think it took me about two or three days to finish. It’s a quick, fun read and I look forward to reading more of his work. And dammit, I hope he can calm down someday, but he amuses me so just the way he is.

Also, just found out he has a Myspace. Check that shit out.