That Girl With A Blog

*spewing red hot, giant amounts of anger*

If I could audibly make a growling sound through the internet, I would be a happy camper right now. Check this out from the Black Hat SEO Forums:

02-26-2011, 07:51 AM
Hi guys
I am newbie in this and I have problem so any help is very welcome,
I purchased some traffic recently and I don’t know is that a reason, I don’t see anything else,but my adsense account is disabled,day later all the traffic in google analytics is gone as well.Can somebody advise me what to do to get my account back on track if its possible at all,or what to do in case that it is not possible.

Well doesn’t THAT sound familiar! I am making insanely angry faces underneath my home-made Daft Punk mask right now. So, essentially, what appears to be happening here is that Google is offering free trials of AdWords to get more traffic to your blog, and then shutting your AdSense account down because of the increased traffic.

Well played, Google, well played. I am so glad that I am not a part of that trainwreck any more. In fact, this whole “divorcing Google” thing is actually going pretty well. Soon, I should be able to close my accounts entirely. Really, the only hold up is the whole YouTube/Google issue. AKA: My YouTube account is linked to my Google. All I need to do is make sure that the videos I have on there, I still have the original files from. There’s things on there that I simply don’t want to lose, like the live Mike Doughty footage or the interview with Mikey Shanley.

There mere prospect of being Google free is so exciting. Soon, I hope! Soon, I will be such a person.

Hey! And did you notice the new theme!? Pretty rad, huh? Thanks to Stacey Leung for rockin’ that thing!

Also, it’s Friday soooo…have some videos.

“Rejection Letter Baby”

“Charlie Bit Me”

Also, look at this adorable, fluffy bunny:

Yes, his name is Tater Tot! Awesome.

AHHH! Where is your FACE fluffy bunny!?

Yeah, that’s all I got. Have a great weekend errbody!

{February 23, 2011}   …and Yahoo! wins again!

Hah. Suck on that Google. Yahoo! loves me more, anyway.

Oh, WordPress, how I’ve missed you!
Let’s start at the beginning, shall we? About six months ago, I decided that I wanted to try my hand at making money with the whole blogging thing, so I went on over to Blogspot, home of such awesome blogs as Hyperbole and A Half, The Unheard Music and Books of Adam. From the beginning, it was a huge mistake. The importing process was horrendous. It took me a couple of months to get everything over there and all of the HTML was a mess. I should have had my second thoughts then but oh no! I couldn’t give up that easily! I accepted Blogger’s challenge and eventually got everything (mostly) in order.

After everything was finally imported, I did a bunch of things that I never needed to do with WordPress. I downloaded a stat counter, bashed myself in the face repeatedly trying to get Technorati to authenticate, and finally got to some blogging. Then, this is where Google comes in…

In case you didn’t know, Blogger is owned by Google. Evil, vile, filthy Google. This is why you’re allowed to use AdSense without having your own domain. So, I set up AdSense and everything’s going pretty well! I’m making a very small amount of money, but hey, that’s 35 cents that I didn’t have before, right? So, I’m trying to become acquainted with my new AdSense account, trying to decipher the cryptic puzzle that they give you to try to guess when you’re gonna start making some money, and I see that they won’t let me put in payment information until I’ve made $10. Okay, I can see the reasoning behind that. So, eventually, after watching my pennies add up, I make it to $10! WOOO! I can buy almost two packs of cigarettes! Almost. So I trek on back over to my AdSense account page and enter all of my important information and try to figure out when I’m getting that giant check, and I find out that you only get paid after you’ve reached $100. Well, shit. Okay. That’s fine. It’s like a tax refund…you wait all year, but when you get it it’s worth it. So, after SIX MONTHS of no unusual activity on the account, THEY SHUT IT DOWN FOR “IMPROPER CLICK ACTIVITY”!!!!! What is “improper click activity” you ask? From Google:

Why was my account disabled? Can you tell me more about the invalid click activity you detected?

Because we have a need to protect our proprietary detection system, we’re unable to provide our publishers with any information about their account activity, including any web pages, users, or third-party services that may have been involved.

As you may know, Google treats invalid click activity very seriously, analyzing all clicks and impressions to determine whether they fit a pattern of use that may artificially drive up an advertiser’s costs or a publisher’s earnings. If we determine that an AdSense account may pose a risk to our AdWords advertisers, we may disable that account to protect our advertisers’ interests.

Lastly, please note that as outlined in our Terms and Conditions, Google will use its sole discretion when determining instances of invalid click activity.

So, essentially, to answer your question, no. No, Google will not tell you anything. They will just shut down your account and leave it up to you to start the appeal process, which is a joke. They give you a one page form to complete and send it off to god knows where for evaluation. So, I fill out this measly appeal form basically just telling them that I don’t know why this happened (there was no influx of hits or earnings) and this is what I get:


Thank you for your appeal. We appreciate the additional information you’ve
provided, as well as your continued interest in the AdSense program.
However, after thoroughly re-reviewing your account data and taking your
feedback into consideration, our specialists have confirmed that we’re
unable to reinstate your AdSense account.

As a reminder, if you have any questions or concerns about your account,
the actions we’ve taken, or invalid activity in general, you can find more
information by visiting (their site).


The Google AdSense Team

Well bull shit, Google. So I look to see if there’s anything else I can do about this and hit another brick wall:

My account was disabled and my appeal was denied. Is there any way I can rejoin the program? Can I open a new account?

We understand your concern about the actions taken against your account. Please know that our actions are the result of careful investigation by our team of dedicated specialists, taking into account the interests of our advertisers, publishers, and users. Though you may be disappointed with our decision, we are unable to reinstate your account.

Please also note that publishers disabled for invalid click activity are not allowed any further participation in AdSense. For this reason, these publishers may not open new accounts. Lastly, please bear in mind that Google does reserve the right to disable an account for any reason, including invalid click activity from any source.

So, not only will Google not tell you why your account was disabled…there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it!

Wanna know what’s even better? This is only half of the war waging with Google right now. AdWords was the other, almost even more frustrating part of this battle.

A few months ago, Google CONTACTED ME about their AdWords program. They sent me an email offering a free trial and they would advertise the blog for up to $100. “Well, neat-o!”, I thought. To put things simply, the Blogspot URL I was using was too long. Your visible URL and your landing URL have to match and well, that just doesn’t work out when your URL is over 25 characters. It doesn’t help that it doesn’t actually SAY THIS ANYWHERE. Thank goodness for forums. AdWords is probably one of the most poorly run services that I have ever seen. While they kept telling me that my ad was not approved, that sure didn’t stop them from billing me! I ran through that $100 in about a week WITH NO APPROVED AD! Finally, after I hit the $100 mark, they approved my ad. You bet your ass I canceled that account with the quickness. Yeah, Google suckered me out of 44 cents. Those bastards.

Using both AdWords and AdSense is AMAZINGLY TERRIBLE. Using the two in conjunction, you get to see the outrageous prices that Google charges for clicks, then you get to see the measly amount that you actually get paid for it. Google will charge $5 for an ad, and the blogger gets about $.05. Who at Google thought that this was a good idea? Not only are they ripping you off, but now you get to see exactly how much they’re ripping you off for! Sweet!

I’m tired of Google thinking that they can get away with this stuff. It’s ridiculous, obscene, and just bad business. And I know it’s not just me…”I hate Google” gets 44,300,000 hits ON GOOGLE. And what’s even more terrible, is the kung-fu grip it has on my entire life. My YouTube, my blog, my email(s), my search engine…it’s disgusting. It’s attached to so many things, I can’t even feasibly delete those accounts right now. I had to put up a passive aggressive away message telling people to email me at one of my Yahoo! accounts.

Actually, it feels pretty good to be getting Google out of my life and starting something fresh. So this is it. Goodbye Google. I wish I could say that we were parting amicably, but that’s just not the case. I hope you get something terribly infectious and itchy. No longer yours,

That Girl With A Blog

{September 21, 2010}   Twitter Mouseover Problems

This thing was in my house, seriously.

Scariest picture on the internet. Hands down.

{July 2, 2010}   Moving: A Drama

Well, it’s currently in the process of moving anyway. They only let me upload 50 posts a day, and this site has that times about three. So in the next week or so, everything will be moved over there and new posts will be located at:

Make sure to change your RSS feeds, for those of you who have them. Soon I’ll figure out how to give you guys a link for email updates, as well.

Ah, WordPress, I really will miss you. You just took too damn long getting on that AdSense thing. I’ll tell you what…you make that happen and I’ll come back. That sounds like a plan to me.

So, make sure to stop over at the new blog. The importer didn’t include my comments, so leave me some love. It looks so naked over there!

{May 4, 2010}   WTF, 90’s?

I thought you died. Has anyone else seen the releases for today? It’s like a 90’s zombie invasion.

Deftones’ Diamond Eyes, Godsmack’s The Oracle, and Papa Roach’s To Be Loved. You’ve gotta be kidding me. That had to be planned. Not to mention that both Drowning Pool and Hole (WHY, OH, WHYYYYYYY!?) released albums last week and Taproot will be releasing a new album next week, Plead the Fifth. It’s like a crappy nu-metal sandwich. Don’t get me wrong, two of those bands are actually pretty good, but then again, I like crappy music.

Like this song, “Poem” by Taproot:

That’s one of those songs that I put on my MP3 player while riding the bus, but turn it down really low so the person next to me doesn’t hear it. But, I’m interested to see what these bands are up to these days and if they actually got any better. Here’s to hoping they’ve aged well. Or hoping that they’re fuel for the fire. It’ll be fun either way.

The one album that I am actually excited for this week? Josh Ritter’s Runs the World. He’s super awesome and he hasn’t released a new album since 2007’s The Historical Conquests of Josh Ritter. I’m pretty pumped.

Josh Ritter – “To The Dogs or Whoever”

Okay, back to ridiculous people from the 90’s…TONI FUCKING BRAXTON came out with an album today. Who let her make another album?! Including her new release, Pulse, she has SIX albums!? Six albums of songs that in my head, all turn into “Unbreak My Heart”.

Yeah, you know you loved that song. Don’t lie about it.

And Tonic. Remember them? The “If You Could Only See” guys? Oh, I miss the days of shitty 90’s alt-rock. On someone’s status somewhere earlier this week they asked if there was any band softer than Dishwalla. This would be my guess. It is pretty hard to beat “Breakfast at Tiffany’s”, though.

Tonic’s “If You Could Only See”

VS Dishwalla’s “Counting Blue Cars”

Also releasing albums this year will be Stone Temple Pilots, Crash Test Dummies, Jewel, Nada freaking Surf, Hanson (really?), Sarah McLaughlin, and Sheryl Crow. What rock did all these people crawl out from under and who let them start making albums again?

On the other hand, there are some pretty sweet albums coming out including the aforementioned new Josh Ritter, Minus the Bear, Stereophonics, UNKLE, The Black Keys, Macy Gray, LCD Soundsystem, Tracy Thorn (Everything But the Girl), Jack Johnson, the Melvins, The Darkness, and Danger Mouse and Sparklehorse.

So, stay tuned for the best, the worst, and everything in between in the next few weeks! You’re welcome, internet!

{April 30, 2010}   RIP: The Remix Manifesto

So I saw this on the Documentary Channel last night and it absolutely blew my mind. RIP: A Remix Manifesto, an open source documentary directed by Brett Gaylor, is two and a half hours of battling copyrights. It touches on medical equipment, music, art, bloggers, DJs, music piracy and more.

What I thought was incredibly funny was Girl Talk appearing in this. This guy went to my high school and now he’s out there face-fucking the RIAA. It’s pretty awesome. Also, totally didn’t know that he was a biomedical engineer. Also, pretty awesome. I was just having the conversation with my husband the other day of why I think it’s bullshit that you can patent medical equipment. Have we really become that greedy and paranoid that we would rather patent potentially life changing medical advances and make a buck than to improve the quality of life for millions of people?

Like the Brazilians. They’ve just said a big ‘ol “Fuck You” to the music industry and started doing their own thing. And what makes it all the better is that this revolution was started by their Minister of Cultural Affairs at the time, Giberto Gil. Some of the mixes being created down there are simply phenomenal. Things that you would never expected to be mashed up…well, there they are. I can’t remember who said it or what the exact quote was but it was something along the lines of the fact that there is not originality anymore. Originality is mixing two things that have never been mixed before.

Dan O’Neill is a fucking madman and I love him for it. The cartoonist and and founder of the Air Pirates, a group sued by the Walt Disney Corporation in the 70’s, still just can’t stop drawing that mouse doing decidedly un-Disney-like things, including dealing drugs and going down on a female companion. It’s hysterical actually, and it’s amazing what they’ve done to keep that mouse under wraps, but The Mouse Liberation Front lives on, 40 years later.

Also included was Jammie Thomas. Remember her? The single mother who made less than $4,000 annually, but the RIAA decided it would be okay to fine her $222,220 for uploading 24 songs to Kazaa? Yeah, that Jammie Thomas. It would take her the rest of her life to pay that off if she gave them every penny that ever came to her name. It’s ridiculous.

Copyrighting ideas is slowly ruining the creative future of the world. Check out this documentary. Watch it. Remix it. Share it. Enjoy it.

You can buy the DVD here, or you can find a torrent. Your choice. 😉 Also, you can find the entire documentary in eleven-ish parts over on YouTube.

The end credits cracked me right the fuck up last night. Here they are:

Check out this Girl Talk madness:

Crazy Brazilian DJs:

Dan O’Neill:

et cetera
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