More Google Hate, Funny Videos, and Fluffy Bunnies

*spewing red hot, giant amounts of anger*

If I could audibly make a growling sound through the internet, I would be a happy camper right now. Check this out from the Black Hat SEO Forums:

02-26-2011, 07:51 AM
Hi guys
I am newbie in this and I have problem so any help is very welcome,
I purchased some traffic recently and I don’t know is that a reason, I don’t see anything else,but my adsense account is disabled,day later all the traffic in google analytics is gone as well.Can somebody advise me what to do to get my account back on track if its possible at all,or what to do in case that it is not possible.

Well doesn’t THAT sound familiar! I am making insanely angry faces underneath my home-made Daft Punk mask right now. So, essentially, what appears to be happening here is that Google is offering free trials of AdWords to get more traffic to your blog, and then shutting your AdSense account down because of the increased traffic.

Well played, Google, well played. I am so glad that I am not a part of that trainwreck any more. In fact, this whole “divorcing Google” thing is actually going pretty well. Soon, I should be able to close my accounts entirely. Really, the only hold up is the whole YouTube/Google issue. AKA: My YouTube account is linked to my Google. All I need to do is make sure that the videos I have on there, I still have the original files from. There’s things on there that I simply don’t want to lose, like the live Mike Doughty footage or the interview with Mikey Shanley.

There mere prospect of being Google free is so exciting. Soon, I hope! Soon, I will be such a person.

Hey! And did you notice the new theme!? Pretty rad, huh? Thanks to Stacey Leung for rockin’ that thing!

Also, it’s Friday soooo…have some videos.

“Rejection Letter Baby”

“Charlie Bit Me”

Also, look at this adorable, fluffy bunny:

Yes, his name is Tater Tot! Awesome.

AHHH! Where is your FACE fluffy bunny!?

Yeah, that’s all I got. Have a great weekend errbody!


That Girl With A Blog Is Back on Wordpress

Oh, WordPress, how I’ve missed you!
Let’s start at the beginning, shall we? About six months ago, I decided that I wanted to try my hand at making money with the whole blogging thing, so I went on over to Blogspot, home of such awesome blogs as Hyperbole and A Half, The Unheard Music and Books of Adam. From the beginning, it was a huge mistake. The importing process was horrendous. It took me a couple of months to get everything over there and all of the HTML was a mess. I should have had my second thoughts then but oh no! I couldn’t give up that easily! I accepted Blogger’s challenge and eventually got everything (mostly) in order.

After everything was finally imported, I did a bunch of things that I never needed to do with WordPress. I downloaded a stat counter, bashed myself in the face repeatedly trying to get Technorati to authenticate, and finally got to some blogging. Then, this is where Google comes in…

In case you didn’t know, Blogger is owned by Google. Evil, vile, filthy Google. This is why you’re allowed to use AdSense without having your own domain. So, I set up AdSense and everything’s going pretty well! I’m making a very small amount of money, but hey, that’s 35 cents that I didn’t have before, right? So, I’m trying to become acquainted with my new AdSense account, trying to decipher the cryptic puzzle that they give you to try to guess when you’re gonna start making some money, and I see that they won’t let me put in payment information until I’ve made $10. Okay, I can see the reasoning behind that. So, eventually, after watching my pennies add up, I make it to $10! WOOO! I can buy almost two packs of cigarettes! Almost. So I trek on back over to my AdSense account page and enter all of my important information and try to figure out when I’m getting that giant check, and I find out that you only get paid after you’ve reached $100. Well, shit. Okay. That’s fine. It’s like a tax refund…you wait all year, but when you get it it’s worth it. So, after SIX MONTHS of no unusual activity on the account, THEY SHUT IT DOWN FOR “IMPROPER CLICK ACTIVITY”!!!!! What is “improper click activity” you ask? From Google:

Why was my account disabled? Can you tell me more about the invalid click activity you detected?

Because we have a need to protect our proprietary detection system, we’re unable to provide our publishers with any information about their account activity, including any web pages, users, or third-party services that may have been involved.

As you may know, Google treats invalid click activity very seriously, analyzing all clicks and impressions to determine whether they fit a pattern of use that may artificially drive up an advertiser’s costs or a publisher’s earnings. If we determine that an AdSense account may pose a risk to our AdWords advertisers, we may disable that account to protect our advertisers’ interests.

Lastly, please note that as outlined in our Terms and Conditions, Google will use its sole discretion when determining instances of invalid click activity.

So, essentially, to answer your question, no. No, Google will not tell you anything. They will just shut down your account and leave it up to you to start the appeal process, which is a joke. They give you a one page form to complete and send it off to god knows where for evaluation. So, I fill out this measly appeal form basically just telling them that I don’t know why this happened (there was no influx of hits or earnings) and this is what I get:


Thank you for your appeal. We appreciate the additional information you’ve
provided, as well as your continued interest in the AdSense program.
However, after thoroughly re-reviewing your account data and taking your
feedback into consideration, our specialists have confirmed that we’re
unable to reinstate your AdSense account.

As a reminder, if you have any questions or concerns about your account,
the actions we’ve taken, or invalid activity in general, you can find more
information by visiting (their site).


The Google AdSense Team

Well bull shit, Google. So I look to see if there’s anything else I can do about this and hit another brick wall:

My account was disabled and my appeal was denied. Is there any way I can rejoin the program? Can I open a new account?

We understand your concern about the actions taken against your account. Please know that our actions are the result of careful investigation by our team of dedicated specialists, taking into account the interests of our advertisers, publishers, and users. Though you may be disappointed with our decision, we are unable to reinstate your account.

Please also note that publishers disabled for invalid click activity are not allowed any further participation in AdSense. For this reason, these publishers may not open new accounts. Lastly, please bear in mind that Google does reserve the right to disable an account for any reason, including invalid click activity from any source.

So, not only will Google not tell you why your account was disabled…there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it!

Wanna know what’s even better? This is only half of the war waging with Google right now. AdWords was the other, almost even more frustrating part of this battle.

A few months ago, Google CONTACTED ME about their AdWords program. They sent me an email offering a free trial and they would advertise the blog for up to $100. “Well, neat-o!”, I thought. To put things simply, the Blogspot URL I was using was too long. Your visible URL and your landing URL have to match and well, that just doesn’t work out when your URL is over 25 characters. It doesn’t help that it doesn’t actually SAY THIS ANYWHERE. Thank goodness for forums. AdWords is probably one of the most poorly run services that I have ever seen. While they kept telling me that my ad was not approved, that sure didn’t stop them from billing me! I ran through that $100 in about a week WITH NO APPROVED AD! Finally, after I hit the $100 mark, they approved my ad. You bet your ass I canceled that account with the quickness. Yeah, Google suckered me out of 44 cents. Those bastards.

Using both AdWords and AdSense is AMAZINGLY TERRIBLE. Using the two in conjunction, you get to see the outrageous prices that Google charges for clicks, then you get to see the measly amount that you actually get paid for it. Google will charge $5 for an ad, and the blogger gets about $.05. Who at Google thought that this was a good idea? Not only are they ripping you off, but now you get to see exactly how much they’re ripping you off for! Sweet!

I’m tired of Google thinking that they can get away with this stuff. It’s ridiculous, obscene, and just bad business. And I know it’s not just me…”I hate Google” gets 44,300,000 hits ON GOOGLE. And what’s even more terrible, is the kung-fu grip it has on my entire life. My YouTube, my blog, my email(s), my search engine…it’s disgusting. It’s attached to so many things, I can’t even feasibly delete those accounts right now. I had to put up a passive aggressive away message telling people to email me at one of my Yahoo! accounts.

Actually, it feels pretty good to be getting Google out of my life and starting something fresh. So this is it. Goodbye Google. I wish I could say that we were parting amicably, but that’s just not the case. I hope you get something terribly infectious and itchy. No longer yours,

That Girl With A Blog