More Google Hate, Funny Videos, and Fluffy Bunnies

*spewing red hot, giant amounts of anger*

If I could audibly make a growling sound through the internet, I would be a happy camper right now. Check this out from the Black Hat SEO Forums:

02-26-2011, 07:51 AM
Hi guys
I am newbie in this and I have problem so any help is very welcome,
I purchased some traffic recently and I don’t know is that a reason, I don’t see anything else,but my adsense account is disabled,day later all the traffic in google analytics is gone as well.Can somebody advise me what to do to get my account back on track if its possible at all,or what to do in case that it is not possible.

Well doesn’t THAT sound familiar! I am making insanely angry faces underneath my home-made Daft Punk mask right now. So, essentially, what appears to be happening here is that Google is offering free trials of AdWords to get more traffic to your blog, and then shutting your AdSense account down because of the increased traffic.

Well played, Google, well played. I am so glad that I am not a part of that trainwreck any more. In fact, this whole “divorcing Google” thing is actually going pretty well. Soon, I should be able to close my accounts entirely. Really, the only hold up is the whole YouTube/Google issue. AKA: My YouTube account is linked to my Google. All I need to do is make sure that the videos I have on there, I still have the original files from. There’s things on there that I simply don’t want to lose, like the live Mike Doughty footage or the interview with Mikey Shanley.

There mere prospect of being Google free is so exciting. Soon, I hope! Soon, I will be such a person.

Hey! And did you notice the new theme!? Pretty rad, huh? Thanks to Stacey Leung for rockin’ that thing!

Also, it’s Friday soooo…have some videos.

“Rejection Letter Baby”

“Charlie Bit Me”

Also, look at this adorable, fluffy bunny:

Yes, his name is Tater Tot! Awesome.

AHHH! Where is your FACE fluffy bunny!?

Yeah, that’s all I got. Have a great weekend errbody!


That Girl With A Blog Is Back on WordPress

Oh, WordPress, how I’ve missed you!
Let’s start at the beginning, shall we? About six months ago, I decided that I wanted to try my hand at making money with the whole blogging thing, so I went on over to Blogspot, home of such awesome blogs as Hyperbole and A Half, The Unheard Music and Books of Adam. From the beginning, it was a huge mistake. The importing process was horrendous. It took me a couple of months to get everything over there and all of the HTML was a mess. I should have had my second thoughts then but oh no! I couldn’t give up that easily! I accepted Blogger’s challenge and eventually got everything (mostly) in order.

After everything was finally imported, I did a bunch of things that I never needed to do with WordPress. I downloaded a stat counter, bashed myself in the face repeatedly trying to get Technorati to authenticate, and finally got to some blogging. Then, this is where Google comes in…

In case you didn’t know, Blogger is owned by Google. Evil, vile, filthy Google. This is why you’re allowed to use AdSense without having your own domain. So, I set up AdSense and everything’s going pretty well! I’m making a very small amount of money, but hey, that’s 35 cents that I didn’t have before, right? So, I’m trying to become acquainted with my new AdSense account, trying to decipher the cryptic puzzle that they give you to try to guess when you’re gonna start making some money, and I see that they won’t let me put in payment information until I’ve made $10. Okay, I can see the reasoning behind that. So, eventually, after watching my pennies add up, I make it to $10! WOOO! I can buy almost two packs of cigarettes! Almost. So I trek on back over to my AdSense account page and enter all of my important information and try to figure out when I’m getting that giant check, and I find out that you only get paid after you’ve reached $100. Well, shit. Okay. That’s fine. It’s like a tax refund…you wait all year, but when you get it it’s worth it. So, after SIX MONTHS of no unusual activity on the account, THEY SHUT IT DOWN FOR “IMPROPER CLICK ACTIVITY”!!!!! What is “improper click activity” you ask? From Google:

Why was my account disabled? Can you tell me more about the invalid click activity you detected?

Because we have a need to protect our proprietary detection system, we’re unable to provide our publishers with any information about their account activity, including any web pages, users, or third-party services that may have been involved.

As you may know, Google treats invalid click activity very seriously, analyzing all clicks and impressions to determine whether they fit a pattern of use that may artificially drive up an advertiser’s costs or a publisher’s earnings. If we determine that an AdSense account may pose a risk to our AdWords advertisers, we may disable that account to protect our advertisers’ interests.

Lastly, please note that as outlined in our Terms and Conditions, Google will use its sole discretion when determining instances of invalid click activity.

So, essentially, to answer your question, no. No, Google will not tell you anything. They will just shut down your account and leave it up to you to start the appeal process, which is a joke. They give you a one page form to complete and send it off to god knows where for evaluation. So, I fill out this measly appeal form basically just telling them that I don’t know why this happened (there was no influx of hits or earnings) and this is what I get:


Thank you for your appeal. We appreciate the additional information you’ve
provided, as well as your continued interest in the AdSense program.
However, after thoroughly re-reviewing your account data and taking your
feedback into consideration, our specialists have confirmed that we’re
unable to reinstate your AdSense account.

As a reminder, if you have any questions or concerns about your account,
the actions we’ve taken, or invalid activity in general, you can find more
information by visiting (their site).


The Google AdSense Team

Well bull shit, Google. So I look to see if there’s anything else I can do about this and hit another brick wall:

My account was disabled and my appeal was denied. Is there any way I can rejoin the program? Can I open a new account?

We understand your concern about the actions taken against your account. Please know that our actions are the result of careful investigation by our team of dedicated specialists, taking into account the interests of our advertisers, publishers, and users. Though you may be disappointed with our decision, we are unable to reinstate your account.

Please also note that publishers disabled for invalid click activity are not allowed any further participation in AdSense. For this reason, these publishers may not open new accounts. Lastly, please bear in mind that Google does reserve the right to disable an account for any reason, including invalid click activity from any source.

So, not only will Google not tell you why your account was disabled…there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it!

Wanna know what’s even better? This is only half of the war waging with Google right now. AdWords was the other, almost even more frustrating part of this battle.

A few months ago, Google CONTACTED ME about their AdWords program. They sent me an email offering a free trial and they would advertise the blog for up to $100. “Well, neat-o!”, I thought. To put things simply, the Blogspot URL I was using was too long. Your visible URL and your landing URL have to match and well, that just doesn’t work out when your URL is over 25 characters. It doesn’t help that it doesn’t actually SAY THIS ANYWHERE. Thank goodness for forums. AdWords is probably one of the most poorly run services that I have ever seen. While they kept telling me that my ad was not approved, that sure didn’t stop them from billing me! I ran through that $100 in about a week WITH NO APPROVED AD! Finally, after I hit the $100 mark, they approved my ad. You bet your ass I canceled that account with the quickness. Yeah, Google suckered me out of 44 cents. Those bastards.

Using both AdWords and AdSense is AMAZINGLY TERRIBLE. Using the two in conjunction, you get to see the outrageous prices that Google charges for clicks, then you get to see the measly amount that you actually get paid for it. Google will charge $5 for an ad, and the blogger gets about $.05. Who at Google thought that this was a good idea? Not only are they ripping you off, but now you get to see exactly how much they’re ripping you off for! Sweet!

I’m tired of Google thinking that they can get away with this stuff. It’s ridiculous, obscene, and just bad business. And I know it’s not just me…”I hate Google” gets 44,300,000 hits ON GOOGLE. And what’s even more terrible, is the kung-fu grip it has on my entire life. My YouTube, my blog, my email(s), my search engine…it’s disgusting. It’s attached to so many things, I can’t even feasibly delete those accounts right now. I had to put up a passive aggressive away message telling people to email me at one of my Yahoo! accounts.

Actually, it feels pretty good to be getting Google out of my life and starting something fresh. So this is it. Goodbye Google. I wish I could say that we were parting amicably, but that’s just not the case. I hope you get something terribly infectious and itchy. No longer yours,

That Girl With A Blog


So, last night was the “Lady Gaga” (I use this term loosely) episode of Glee, “Theatricality”. I had never actually sat down and watched an episode of this show, but I figured, “Hey! I love Lady Gaga! This is gonna be awesome!”.

…not. So. Much.

How dare they use the name of Gaga to get ratings when they use TWO, count them, TWO songs, one of which was such a horribly butchered version of “Poker Face”, I just went to bed. That was the straw that broke the blogger’s back. I’m actually a little nauseous just thinking about it.

Glee‘s “Poker Face”:

Are you kidding me? THIS, “POKER FACE” is what you choose to sing with your MOTHER as some sort of incredible bonding experience? If I was your mother, I would beat the hell out of you for being such a jackass. I don’t know about you guys, but singing a duet with my mother involving anything even remotely related to “my muffin” does not sound like a good time. Do the makers of Glee even know the implications of that song?!

The only part of this show that is any good is the lovably stupid principal who things that all goth kids and Twilight fans are actual vampires. That guy, I like. And the weird Asian goth girl is okay. I want to love the weird, flamboyant gay kid, but no. Can’t even do that. In case you couldn’t tell, this show is epically cliche. You have: The Slutty Cheerleader, The Sassy Fat Black Girl, The Gay, The Sensitive Jock, The Asian Goth, The Handicapped Kid, and The Princess. Really? Hasn’t this been done to death already? John Hughes would kick your ass, Glee.

Glee‘s “Bad Romance”:

This one didn’t make a part of my soul die, thankfully. Nothing like “Poker Face”, but it’s certainly no Lady Gaga. This sounded like such a good idea once upon a time. I just lost an hour of my life to this show. Fool me once, Glee, fool me once…

I’ve learned my lesson: Glee = EPIC FAIL.

Boycott Ticketmaster

Boycott Ticketmaster!!!So it’s been quite a while since I’ve actually purchased concert tickets…or tickets to anything for that matter, online. I always just got them at the door. What the fuck did I miss!? When we went to see Mike Doughty last Thursday, I went to the Ticketmaster website to see how much they were. Only $16! How affordable! Especially for a concert that I want to see so badly! Wrong. Oh so very, very wrong. $9 of charges per ticket. That’s more than half the fucking ticket price!

This is beyond ridiculous. Thankfully, I’ve found some other resources for concert tickets in the Pittsburgh area:

Dave’s Music Mine
Mr. Small’s Funhouse
Club Cafe
Garfield Artworks
The Rex
31st St. Pub
…and possibly more, those are just the one’s currently listed on their website.

The Exchange
Has tickets to most of the venues listed above, plus possibly more.

The Benedum
I know you =can buy tickets directly through their box office, as I did when we saw Tori Amos last year. I think you can do this with Heinz Hall as well.

The shame of it is, it’s not Ticketmaster’s fault that they’re a monopoly…it’s the fault of the venues and their exclusive contracts. Ticketmaster also gets no part of ticket sales, so here come the charges!

Service Charge – For the general service they provide.
Building Facility Charge – Determined by the venue, still raked in by Ticketmaster.
Processing Charge – ‘Cause we all know how expensive it is to send an email.
Shipping/E-Ticket/Will Call – Just because they can!

Often these fees are 30% to even 50% of the actual ticket price. What the fuck, Ticketmaster? And they get away with this by giving away million dollar sign-on bonuses to large venues. And it’s not even just music! Ticketmaster is the primary ticket seller for TWENTY SEVEN of thirty NHL teams and TWENTY EIGHT of thirty NBA teams. At least the MLB has gone with competitor, From now on, I’m going to try my best to not support this monopoly any longer, or their subsidiaries:

Ticketmaster Ventures, Inc.
Ticketmaster Corp.
TMC Realty Holdings, Inc.
Ticketmaster Publications, Inc.
Ticketmaster Travel Corp.
TM/Video International, Inc.
Ticketmaster Advertising, Inc.
TMC Consultants, Inc.
Ticketmaster Tell Ltd.
Ticketmaster-Direct, Inc.
Cinema Acquisition Corp.
Ticketmaster Cinema Group, Ltd.
TM Movie Tix Holdings, Inc.
TM Marketing, Inc.
Ticketmaster Merchandising Corp.
Ticketmaster-Golf, Inc.
MFG Management Corp.
TM Flowers
TM National Flora LLC.

Instead, I’ll be going with the competitors:

LM Loyalty Management
Neighborhood Box Office
NEXT Ticketing
Prologue Systems, Inc.

Further steps can also be taken. Urge your favorite artists/sports teams to not use Ticketmaster, along with your local venues. The less people who use them, the less power they’ll have to overcharge the masses.

In addition to monopolizing the ticket market and charging these ridiculous fees, Ticketmaster also has no regard for customer privacy. Directly from their website:

“By completing this registration form you indicate that you consent to Ticketmaster sharing your email address and other information with those who provide the event, and that you consent to those who provide the event using your information to contact you by email or other means to send you marketing or other messages or using or disclosing your information in other ways. By completing this registration form, you also indicate that you consent to Ticketmaster contacting you by email or other means to send you marketing or other messages and using and disclosing the information you submit, as described in the Ticketmaster Privacy.”

Why do we let them get away with shit like this!? Fuck Ticketmaster. I’m going with!

Rant: Drug Companies, Health Insurance, and Birth Control

Birth Control

So today, I went to my gynecologist for my mid-year checkup and to get more birth control. I get there to find out that the price for my birth control has MORE THAN DOUBLED. This is not through my insurance. My insurance pays for the office visit, but I buy the pills through the clinic. My birth control went from $12.50 per month to a staggering $25.50 per month. In a matter of six months! Fucking Christ! That’s $306 a year for birth control. I just keep reminding myself that it’s still cheaper than having a baby, but seriously, WTF!?

I have never understood health insurance not covering birth control, but covering shit like Viagra. Seriously. The cost of the average pregnancy/child rearing is WAY MORE THAN SOME FUCKING PILLS, buddy! Delivery alone, a normal, healthy delivery is estimated at $7,737, that’s TWO YEARS worth of birth control. That doesn’t even include all those doctor visits and prenatal care. That is delivery, provided that everything goes smoothly.

I did get a notice from my health insurance a little while ago telling me that they now “covered” birth control. Bull shit. My copay can be anywhere from $20 for generics to $150 for stuff like Seasonique. The one and only birth control that I have ever found that I actually liked (which I am not on because the clinic doesn’t have it) is $60 a month! I’ve just been sucking it up and taking something else because it was cheap and effective.

I’m going to have to call my health insurance later to make sure that it’s only going to be $20 per month, but if it is, I’ll start getting it through them. It may not seem like a lot, but that’s a savings of $66 over the course of the year.

It’s just so frustrating and I’ve hit this point of, “What can I do?”. Even going through a fucking clinic has become outrageously expensive. You know, you see these women with tribes of fucking children because they didn’t have the goddamn sense to use contraceptives, or if they did, they didn’t use it correctly and got pregnant anyway. I understand that no contraceptive has 100% effectiveness, and that the pill fails sometimes even if you do take it correctly, and for those women, I am truly sorry. But back to the beginning…where the fuck are these women getting the money to pay for all these children? Me. You. All the other fucking taxpayers. Because I have the fucking sense to take my birth control every day because I know that I do not want children, I pay out the ass.

And you know what fucking sucks? I would get a tubal ligation in a FUCKING HEARTBEAT and no doctor will do it because a.) I’m only 24 and b.) I don’t have any children. I will sign your fucking waivers, I will not sue you in the event that I decide I do want children (fat chance). It’s just so frustrating! It’s my fucking body, why can’t I do with it what I want to fucking do with it!? If fact, you can take ALL MY GODDAMN ORGANS! Give them to someone who wants them. Just give me some drugs so I don’t grow a mustache and I’ll be fucking golden!

I need to look into other forms of birth control I think. Rings and IUDs and patches and shots and that Mirena mushroom thing and just some other fucking options. Anyone have any comments about those? Have something full of hormones shoved in your vagina? If you do, let me know how it worked out for you.

Rant: Just one of those days…

RageEver notice how sometimes everything that can go wrong, does?

Those are shitty days.

No, not just shitty days, those are the ever-lasting Gobstoppers of shitty days. Layers upon layers of brightly colored, shiny, candy shit.

Everyone has their issues, I know, but we are all the sweet little centers of our own sweet little universes. All those fuck ups and shitty days eventually become just bits of cosmic debris in our shiny happy universes, but when these days happen, it’s like a flaming asteroid of shit is just hurdling toward you at 1,000,000,000 miles per hour. Ever seen Dead Like Me? I should review that, it’s a good show.

Well, if you have, instead of calling me Toilet Seat Girl, you may now refer to me as Shit Asteroid Girl.

Thanks in advance.