Also, this:
{November 4, 2011}
Oooh, so fancy!
{November 4, 2011}
I Am A Socially Awkward Penguin
“I am the most unladylike, ill-behaved asshole you will ever meet.” – @ACroy412
I couldn’t have said it better, myself. Sometimes, I really think that I need a mental or vocal filter to prevent some of the shit that comes out of my mouth. Whether by phone, in person, or on the internet, I am a MASTER at making myself look like an asshole. I guess all people think terrible things sometimes, but most (I hope) of the general population keeps that to themselves.
Me? Not so much. Sometimes, I wish that I could genuinely be one of those people who really doesn’t give a fuck about what people think, but is anyone REALLY? And on top of that, I really don’t intent to hurt feelings and whatnot, but my mouth tends to move faster than my brain.
I think the internet has made this 1000x worse for me. All those “hilarious” one liners that pop into my head are instantly on the internet, thanks to sites like Twitter and Facebook. Like yesterday, I made a (what I STILL think is hilarious, and even THAT probably isn’t a socially acceptable thing to say) comment on Facebook saying that every time someone asks if an Onion News story is a joke, god punches a kitten in the face.
Now, I know DAMN WELL that there are some pretty religious people on my Facebook. Did that stop me? Almost. But I went ahead and did it anyway. That one, I can’t even blame on my mouth moving faster than my brain. #1. It was on the internet and #2. I thought about it before I did it and decided to do it anyway! This just leads me to believe that I am actually a horrendous jerk.
And don’t let Zooey Deschanel fool you. Being socially awkward is never “cute”.
Other cases in point:
A few years ago, a co-worker was calling off of work due to a sick child and my dumb ass tells her “this is what happens when you have kids”. Doesn’t that sound HORRIBLE? I meant it in a factual way, though! I was moreso trying to tell her that “Hey, your boss has kids, too. This is what happens and we all know this”. What’s even better about that one, is that apparently she didn’t hear me the first time and asked me to repeat myself, and I did. Now, I don’t know if she actually didn’t hear me, or if she just couldn’t believe what she was hearing, but I apparently thought that it was a socially acceptable thing to say. I distinctly remember that The Husband was sitting next to me at the time and gave me a look that closely resembled this:
What goes around comes around though, because sometime after that, The Husband definitely dropped the F Bomb on his mom on the phone. Touche!
A couple of Halloween parties ago, we had a few people show up a little early, so I was already a little flustered and knowing me on Halloween party day, probably a little drunk. A lot of the time as a farewell, I will say “Have fun” or “Have fun with that” or some other combination of those words. Well, said friends were leaving for a funeral and, with utmost eloquence, I blurt out “Have fun!”. *facepalm* How do you even begin to recover from that? You don’t.
I am awesome at life.
And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. I know that I can’t be the only one here. In an age where most communication is either done via internet or text, it’s easy to forget how to actually interact with people. Instead of agreeing with someone and oh, I don’t know, starting a conversation, we simply hit that “Like” button and move along to whatever else comes along.
Well, at least now I can look back on these and laugh. Maybe someday I’ll develop some social tact, but in the meantime, I think I’ll just continue being an unladylike, ill-behaved asshole.
What’s your worst social faux pas? Make me feel better about all of mine in the comments!
Also, Happy Friday! Have a hilarious video!
“Drinking Out of Cups”
{June 22, 2011}
How Am I Supposed To Be An Internet Genius Now, Huh!?
Oh man. So, the company I work for has restricted internet access. I’m not gonna get all into it, seeing how Big Brother is watching us and all that, but how am I supposed to prank people with Rebecca Black or Rick Astley songs, now? How am I going to survive without Nyan Cat? What about the trolling!? What will I ever do without the trolling!? I’ll never find out how magnets work or how to save my horse. A life without Hipster Cat isn’t worth living. I still find myself yelling “Y U NO [insert action here] at my cat, but it’s just not the same. How am I going to watch videos of mama cats hugging kittens? Or incredibly gay narrators talking about wildlife? Now, I’ll never be an internet genius. 
Thanks, alot!
I’ll tell you one thing for sure, the amount of office pranks will significantly increase. We’re really going to have to find ways to entertain ourselves, now. Problem?
Anyway, so now I’m going to have to get used to doing this from home. Really, though, I didn’t get any work time back. I went in early all the time so I could get in there and read my email and check my social networking sites and, well, blog…but (most of) that was done before my day actually started. Except for my lunch break, being a complete internet junkie. On the plus side, I get to sleep in for another half an hour!
Because of this, I did manage to finally “decorate” our office of almost a year of being in the new apartment. I’ll have to post some pics soon, because it’s pretty effin’ rad. So, at least now, I have a usable work space. You will really to be able to tell the extent of my Pittsburgh Penguins addiction. It’s a sickness.
Ahhh, here it is.
I have a ton on new fodder, too, which is awesome! Patrick Wensink‘s back with a new book, there’s another Metal Monday in the works with another Pittsburgh band, River Runs Scarlet, I just got like, 6 CDs (Ben Harper – Give Til It’s Gone, Owl City – All Things Bright and Beautiful, Death Cab For Cutie – Codes and Keys, She Wants Revenge – Valleyheart, Moby – Destroyed, and Flogging Molly – Speed of Darkness. I’ve also had Explosions In The Sky – Take Care, Take Care, Take Care and Fleet Foxes – Helplessness Blues for a while, but just haven’t got around to actually listening to them. Superultramegalame.
Well, here’s to hoping I survive a world without Facebook. I’ll miss you, internet! For old times, sake, though, let’s have a little fun.
“Nyan Cat”
“Crazy, Nasty Ass, Honey Badger”
{April 11, 2011}
Steven Smith in Music Unexpected 4: The Bouncing Souls
Wow, Steven Smith loves him some Cruze-arati…and good punk. The former “Untitled Rock Show Host” has done some awesome stuff so far [see: Less Than Jake], and he’s back again with another of my favorite bands, the Bouncing Souls!
Check it out!
Yes, I still have a giant, girly, crush on Bryan. And yes, I want those shoes. Happy Monday, errbody!
{February 24, 2011}
Steven Smith in Music Unexpected 3: On the Road with Less Than Jake
So, Steven Smith, formerly of “Steven’s Untitled Rock Show” on Fuse is doing a whole “Music Unexpected” thing, and it’s pretty cool. It’s relatively new, but he’s already gone behind the scenes with A Great Big Pile of Leaves and Less Than Jake, plus, he’s spent a day with Goom Radio in New Jersey.
From what I hear, there’s more fun stuff to come, but in the meantime, check out his quality hangout time with Less Than Jake at their Philly show at the Trocadero! (I know, a Pittsburgh show would have been better…this might also be my crazy hockey fan-dom talking.) It’s pretty rad! (And yes, I still love LTJ, despite that whole TV/EP situation.)
I think they made it farrrr too easy on him! What kind of roadie actually gets to “watch” the show when they’re done!? They’re too busy making sure things run smoothly. That’s kinda what roadies do.
Other than that, though…pretty good stuff! Stay tuned for more fun things from “Music Unexpected”!
{September 21, 2010}
Twitter Mouseover Problems
