You know, it’s hard to blog about music when you’re constantly bombarded by mediocre crap. Seriously. I’ve gone so long without blogging because there simply hasn’t been anything good to blog about. Where’d all the good music go!?
Case in point: Albums like Owl City’s new catastrophe, All Things Bright and Beautiful. It’s a ninth-grade notebook full of terrible, emo, poems, autotuned and overproduced. This is the kind of stuff that emo kids get made fun of for. What’s more than that, is that it tries to sound like Adam Young’s previous efforts, but falls decidedly short. At least Ocean Eyes had “Hello Seattle” and “Fireflies” (…and “Umbrella Beach” and “Saltwater Room”. Half of that album actually wasn’t too terrible). There is no definitive “hit” on this album, and while that’s not necessarily always a bad thing, in this case, it just means that you get 13 sub-par songs that all sound exactly the same.
I hate to say it (okay, maybe that’s a lie), but I think I was right with that whole “15 minutes of fame” deal. While a generally uninspired album as a whole, the song “Honey and the Bee”, in particular, makes me want to stick pens through my ears and directly into my brain. Breanne Duren’s voice in combination with the copious amount of autotune seriously gave me an instant headache. I hate that song so much, it seriously makes me physically ill. It also doesn’t help that it’s followed by “Kamikaze”, a track that almost sounds like Young trying to remix The Offspring. Yeah, it’s totally as awkward as it sounds.
Between the nausea, the headache, and the brain cell loss, this is about where I gave up on the album. The end of the album may be good, I doubt it, but I will never know. This album gets a big, fat, F. I don’t even know how anyone let this go to production.
I’m gonna go put Fitz and the Tantrums back on, take some Ibuprofen, and try to forget that this album even exists.
Owl City – “Honey and the Bee”